In 1770, Capt James Cook parked his boat in Kurnell, Botany Bay, Australia and met some local people – as you do.  These locals, as a gift of friendship after noticing Cook didn’t have any, gave him a boomerang and a couple of clubs so he could hunt.  These items, a significant part of Australian history, are for sale in Christies in London and are expected to fetch more than £60,000 – reports the Brisbane Times.

Now, this is terrible for a number of reasons.  Firstly, that these items are such an incredibly significant part of modern Australian history – almost surely the first items from Australia ever exported.  Also, incredibly culturally significant to the Aboriginal people – how often to they actually get to view something their ancestors made, hold it in their hands.  To Australian historians this must represent the oldest piece of wood found from Australia, ever..  not to mention the archaeological value of such items in learning about Aboriginal culture and crafting techniques, of which so little remain.  And to the Australian people this is almost, when you really think about it, the item representing the birth of Australia as a country recognised to the world.

Image: Christies, London

To the rest of the world, it may just be a curved stick.  To Australians, it’s so much more.

There’s been a cry for the Aussie govt to get the UK govt to buy it and gift it back to us, where it can be displayed in Botany Bay for all to see.  I think Australia’s rich should band together and buy this, as a gift to the country that has provided then so much.  Why don’t we just form a conglomerate, every family inthe country donates a dollar, and we’ll be sorted!  It belongs back home in Australia, where it will get the respect it deserves, not rotting away in a cupboard somewhere in a private collection or buried in the bowels of the Natural History Museum in London.

Please, Aussie, make a noise about this.  This one’s important.  And not just to the descendants of the giver.  If I had the cash, I’d buy it and gift it myself. If a conglomerate forms, let me know the details…

Garry Glitter, former Glam rocker (though I use the word rocker incredibly loosely – more just to give you an idea of what he aspired to be, not what he actually was) is now into kiddies.  He’s been done in the UK for downloading child porn, so he headed off to SE Asia, cause that’s what paedophiles do.  He got done in Vietnam for abusing two girls and sentenced to 6 years in prison.  Now released after 2 years on some sort of govt pardon, he’s been ejected from Vietnam.  As the Vietnamese are well within their rights to do.

At the moment he’s sitting in a back room of Bangkok airport, because the Thai won’t allow him into their country – and I don’t blame them in the slightest.  He’s already tried to go to Hong Kong, no go.  They don’t want him either and put him straight back on the plane to Bangkok.  He’s vowed he won’t return to the UK, since they’ve stepped up the restrictions on sex offenders and his life wouldn’t be what it was.  But is problem now is – where to go?

19 countries have said they don’t want him.  19.  That’s a lot of countries!  That’s very probably most of SE Asia.  He’s sitting in an airport in Bangkok with nowhere to go, and the Thai have said they’ll put him in a detention centre if he doesn’t leave the country.

Ah – what to do?  Poor poor Gary – see what kiddie porn gets you?  No country, no home, no prospects whatsoever.  And no sympathy from anyone.

Further to my last post about how proud I am of Britain scoring so well in the olympics – I take it all back.  Just because they’re bad winners.

On UK television this morning they tore shreds into the Australian olympic team, and Australians in general for winning fewer golds than GB. 

This is what they do, you see.  They’re bad winners.  Instead of a quiet proud dignity, they have to run about and hurl abuse at everyone else for losing.  I’ve seen this in every sporting event that GB have won since I’ve been here.  And truly, using the excuse that they don’t win very often and don’t know how to act, is no longer appropriate.  They DO know how to act, with respect for the other competitors, with pride, joy and a little bit of dignity.  They know because that’s how every other country in the world (except perhaps USA) acts when they win a medal (or indeed almost any sporting event).  However there’s something about the Brits that just make them overreact, that make them push the boundaries of propriety. 

And I know that there’s a great rivalry between UK and Oz, I’ve heard of almost nothing but this rivalry every time the two countries compete in anything.  But there is no need to drag it out into abuse.

I’m embarrassed for the Brit olympians, just because they might feel the cause of it all.  They are doing well, and I am proud of them – perhaps I just hate the press…

Anyway – rant ends.

Anyone who’s been out of touch with the world for the last few days, I have news.  The Olympics have started.

Yep, that ritual athletic testing that started in an ancient foreign land as a way of challenging soldiers has returned once again.  (Which, by the way, means that I’ve been away over 8 years.  I arrived in the UK before Sydney 2000. Egads!)  The best of the world have gathered in Bejing for two weeks of testing before their peers and the world.

Talk about your stage-fright – estimated 4 billion people watching the opening ceremony?  Bloody Hell!  But from what I could see there was only one stuff up – and I imagine some poor little Chinese guy getting a slap around the ear for letting the torch-bearing air-runner guy catch up with the unravelling scroll.

All the athletes look lean & hungry.  That’s how they’re supposed to look, right? Lean & hungry?  Are we not feeding these people regularly?  They all look ready to defend their country and themselves from repeated embarrassment of failing dismally.  If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over my 30something years on the earth, there’s always someone better than you.  Sorry..  Maybe I’m feeling a little too reflective today.

But along with the lean & hungry come the joys of a fiercely patriotic crowd, and billions of televiewers everywhere, screaming and shouting, clapping, laughing, crying along with their team.  The Olympics is the only time people can be most vehemently patriotic with no fear of recrimination, verbal abuse or attack.  It is expected at the Olympics, encouraged.  Over two hundred countries coming together to wage mini battles with each other.

Question:  Have the Olympics become our pseudo world war?  Instead of taking out your emeny with bullets and bombs, you take them out with skill and expertise, with a fine throw or blistering speed.  You take them out honestly and directly, with no cheating or sly actions, no backstabbing or sabotage.  You do it directly in front of them, to their face, and you wait for the words ‘bad sport’ to start fizzing about between their ears, at which point they’ll come and congratulate you on a good match/race/battle.

And I even understand why it’s being held in China, despite their air quality and human rights record, despite their environmental and foreign policy.  It’s being held there because the IOC reached a point where it had to say yes for to be seen as being influenced by politics.  See, China is the most populated country in earth, they send ridiculous amounts of althletes to each and every games, they do very well in each and every games, and they haven’t hosted in over 100 years.  The IOC proclaims itself a non-political animal, and under that guise had reached a point where they could no longer refuse China’s application to host.  They had no choice.  To do otherwise was to rebuke China, which no-one seems willing to do.  I mean, geez, Moscow hosted in the middle of the cold war.  Germany hosted, Hitler opened their games.  The IOC had to do it to stay apolitical.  I’ll stop there, I don’t want this post to be an anti-China rant.

I realise from the above that it may seem I sneer at the Olympics.  But I don’t.  Honestly.  I’ve got nothing but admiration for the athletes who can devote themselves so completely to their sport.  I don’t think I could do it.  And I’ve nothing but admiration for the medalists themselves.  To be the acknowledged best in the world at anything must be a fantastic feeing and worth every second of that seemingly endless training.

And, of course, there’s the fact that I’m Australian and we love and respect sportsmen and women.  We’re a sporting nation.  Comes with the sunshine and being able to go outside.  The Australian press are whipping up a patriotic frenzy, I find myself trying to program my tele-watching to times when there’ll be coverage of Aussies (and I understand totally that the UK coverage is all about the UK team, I just wish they’d interview a winner every now and again!  Oh, but they did interview that Zimbabwe swimmer with the american accent, thought I’m not sure why..)

I find myself digging my wee aussie flag out of the box and drapiing it proudly around the house.  I find myself suddenly shouting “Go Aussie!” at the screen, freaking out cat and flatmate.  But I can’t help it.  And gorram it, I shouldn’t have to!

So GO AUSSIE!  Go, you good things!  Enjoy yourselves and bring us back some neckwear, huh?

Oh, and..  ahem..  good luck to everyone else too. :)

xx

Heard on the news this morning that Lloyds TSB, one of the UK’s biggest banks, has had a 70% drop in profit this quarter. I started cheering, thinking perhaps this can be a score for the little guy, to prove that everyone’s feeling the pinch, not just those of us on lower incomes.

However, the news went on:
Profit before tax was 70% lower at £599m ($1.18bn), compared with a profit of £1.99bn in first half of 2007.

Oh right. So they only made £600M as opposed to almost £2billion last year. Poor, poor bastards.  That’s some serious belt-tightening! How will they ever cope!

And just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm, I’ll take my point further.. With the price of oil and gas going up so much this year, many people in the UK won’t be able to afford to keep themselves warm this winter.

The government estimates 2.5 million households are in fuel poverty – defined as when more than 10% of household income is spent on fuel bills – but watchdog Energywatch says the figure is more than four million.

You know what the Head of UK’s biggest domestic energy supplier said? “maybe it’s two jumpers instead of one”.

Oh the compassion! He should be up for a humantiarian award! Warms your heart don’t it, big business showing such understanding and mercy for their fellow man.

So what’s the world’s most ineffectual Prime Minster to do?  Luckily for us, Gordon Brown’s on his summer holidays at the moment – giving us a brief respite from his smarmy face constantly on the tele trying to justify himself and his party.  The time has come for an election Gordon.  You screwed up.  Big time.  Fall back into obscurity like a good boy and let someone else have a turn now…

Rant ends.

xx