Captain Cook’s boomerang for sale in London

In 1770, Capt James Cook parked his boat in Kurnell, Botany Bay, Australia and met some local people – as you do.  These locals, as a gift of friendship after noticing Cook didn’t have any, gave him a boomerang and a couple of clubs so he could hunt.  These items, a significant part of Australian history, are for sale in Christies in London and are expected to fetch more than £60,000 – reports the Brisbane Times.

Now, this is terrible for a number of reasons.  Firstly, that these items are such an incredibly significant part of modern Australian history – almost surely the first items from Australia ever exported.  Also, incredibly culturally significant to the Aboriginal people – how often to they actually get to view something their ancestors made, hold it in their hands.  To Australian historians this must represent the oldest piece of wood found from Australia, ever..  not to mention the archaeological value of such items in learning about Aboriginal culture and crafting techniques, of which so little remain.  And to the Australian people this is almost, when you really think about it, the item representing the birth of Australia as a country recognised to the world.

Image: Christies, London

To the rest of the world, it may just be a curved stick.  To Australians, it’s so much more.

There’s been a cry for the Aussie govt to get the UK govt to buy it and gift it back to us, where it can be displayed in Botany Bay for all to see.  I think Australia’s rich should band together and buy this, as a gift to the country that has provided then so much.  Why don’t we just form a conglomerate, every family inthe country donates a dollar, and we’ll be sorted!  It belongs back home in Australia, where it will get the respect it deserves, not rotting away in a cupboard somewhere in a private collection or buried in the bowels of the Natural History Museum in London.

Please, Aussie, make a noise about this.  This one’s important.  And not just to the descendants of the giver.  If I had the cash, I’d buy it and gift it myself. If a conglomerate forms, let me know the details…

Caution: diverted patriotism?

I’ve been watching the olympics.  Like most of the rest of the planet, I assume.  And I’ve noticed, too, that Britain are doing rather well..

Which brings up strange feelings in me.  I’m aussie to the core and will be til I die, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t feel a sense of pride in my resident country, does it? 

See Britain are notoriously crappy at olympics, usually to be found around position 10-15 on the medal table.  But since London’d got the next olympics, the govt has been spending money on sport (SHOCKER!).  I think they’re mainly doing it so that they won’t be embarrassed by the general crap-ness of their team.  Whatever the reason, it’s working and they’re starting to see significant results.

And I am proud of the Brits.  They’ve been so crap for so long, that the jubilation and excitement about winning, hell – even placing!, is somewhat infectious.  For example, on Saturday Louis Smith, a 19yo UK gymnast, got a bronze medal in the pommel horse – which is Britain’s first medal in artistic gymnastics for 80 years!  Well done Louis!  I don’t care who you are, that’s quite an achievement!  It’s even more of an achievement when you think that gymnastics has been dominated by the Chinese, Americans and Russians for as long as anyone can remember.  Damn well done!  (And almost certainly secures him an OBE / MBE / Knighthood!  Honestly, sometimes I think the Queen puts honours in Xmas crackers! They seem to be handed out for everything..  Not to diminish Louis’ achievement, but he’s only 19 and has plenty of good sporting years yet.  How about you wait til he retires from sport??)

So I find myself with mixed feelings – I want Australia to do well, of course I do.  I want the Aussies to wipe the floor with the rest of the world and prove once again what a fantastically sporting nation we are.  But I also want Britain to do well. 

I find myself watching a race like the rowing, where Aussie and GB are neck & neck and have a nasty moment of not knowing who to scream for!  Its never happened before.  Weird.

Go Aussie Go!  Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi! Oi! OI! (but come on Team GB too!)

prohibition giggles

I know – Prohibition Giggles, bit of a contradiction in terms.

Anne sent me this, and I thought it should be preserved for posterity on my wee blogge. :)

If you were around in 1919 (just before prohibition started) and came upon the following poster…

would YOU quit drinking??

 

xx

Seagal – totally past it?

Now, I usually go into Seagal movies with an open mind. There’s going to be some good (if not entirely realistic) fight scenes, a scanty plot, and a lot of looking at Seagal’s haircut trying to figure out why someone would do that to themselves.  But they’re generally good ‘popcorn’ movies – they fill you up whilst you’re  watching them, but you could go something else an hour later.  And it’s always fun to watch Seagal destroy in imaginative ways.

Last night I had the misfortune, and I have to say misfortune, to watch ‘Today You Die’ – and I have honestly never seen Seagal so pitifully bad.

Not only is his hair scarily lifeless (and there was debate about whether it actually had any relation to actual human hair at all), he mumbles more than usual whilst trying to lay down ridiculous ’street-talk’ with his co-star, and the very scanty plot we’ve come to expect had Titanic sized holes which truly leave one feeling that Seagal should just give films up & go play in his band.

There’s some girlfriend who has visions, a female cop who’s trying to interrogate him in one scene then helping him stay a fugitive the next, there’s your typical bad cop who can’t act for shit, and the ubiquitous ‘criminal element’ that Seagal has to ‘get in’ with to complete his self appointed mission.  Not to mention the oh so tacky setups, the totally stupid dialogue, and I believe I already mentioned the hair? 

And to make matters worse, there’s a big fight scene with Seagal and about 5 guys – but the director shoots Seagal from the neck down, and the body shape of the guy is different!  If you’re really quick you can catch a glimpse or two of the profile, which is definitely NOT Seagal!  WHAT!  Seagal not doing his own fight scenes?!  Sorry to have to tell you, but it seems so.  There are other clues too, the guy in the big scene (let’s call him SS1, Stunt Seagal 1) is quicker with his moves (yep!) and although Seagal’s got that fluidity, SS1 has the speed Seagal had way back in Under Siege. 

If, like me, you’re a fan of Seagal movies – even if only so you can go ‘eewww!’ at the screen when he hurts some guy in a particularly imaginative way – leave this one the hell alone.  Go watch Shoot ‘em Up, you won’t be disappointed.  This film’s way too bad, even when compared to Seagal’s recent pseudo-environmental celluloid efforts.  Seagal shall be missed, but this movie does absolutely nothing to attest that he’s still a viable star.  He should go the Chuck Norris route and retire gracefully, do the odd cameo here and there. 

The sad truth of it is that the world has lost another action star.  Seagal is (almost) done.

Witnessess no longer anonymous

I was driving my car one evening and I heard this news over the radio:

“The government has moved to take action to clarify the law after a ruling by top judges which police fear could end anonymity for some witnesses.

The Law Lords ruled on Tuesday that a man convicted of a double murder received an unfair trial because witnesses gave evidence anonymously.

Police chiefs are concerned the ruling could effect many investigations.”

I mean – holy crap!  We’re no longer allowed to be protected from possible reprisals?  That the accused has ‘the right’ to know who is doing the accusing?

“…many defence lawyers argue it deprives their clients of the chance to properly test allegations because they cannot uncover whether the witness has an ulterior motive. “

Well shit.  The way I see it, if you got nuffin to ‘ide ven you got nuffin ta worry about, right?  Besides the police departments of Britain aren’t so incompetent that they can’t see thru a setup.

But truthfully, with gang culture and stabbings now all the rage, this really isn’t going to encourage people to say what they saw.  Hopefully the govt will put some sort of law forward about this.

Bloody world.  Seems more and more that the crims have more rights than the victims.

You know you’re Australian if… (still, and more)

Thanks to Nell for this one – an extension of my previous post on Australianism 

You know you’re Australian if….

• You know the meaning of ‘girt’
• You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk
• You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin
• You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse
• You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden
• When you hear that an American ‘roots for his team’ you wonder how often and with whom
• You understand that the phrase ‘a group of women wearing black thongs’ refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds
• You pronounce Melbourne as ‘Mel-bin’
• You pronounce Penrith as ‘Pen-riff’
• You believe the ‘L’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional
• You can translate: ‘Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas’
• You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep
• You call your best friend ‘a total bastard’ but someone you really, truly despise is just ‘a bit of a bastard’
• You think ‘Woolloomooloo’ is a perfectly reasonable name for a place
• You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin
• You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’ can’t be called ‘Woy’
• You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread
• You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis
• You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says ‘cobber’
• You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song ‘Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again’
• You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year
• You still don’t get why the ‘Labor’ in ‘Australian Labor Party’ is not spelt with a ‘u’
• You wear ugg boots outside the house
• You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them
• Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language
• You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, while ’scuse me’ is always polite
• You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose
• You understand that ‘you’ has a plural and that it’s ‘youse’
• You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle
• You biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket
• You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ‘Anzac cookies’
• You still think of Kylie Minogue as ‘that girl off Neighbours’
• When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit
• You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction
• When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer and excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer
• You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second
• You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government’s new test for migrants
• You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!

post 300: the weary traveller returns

This is it – post number 300 on this wee blog.  300 posts in 18 months.  Nowhere near one a day, which is probably good as you’d all get terribly bored with my life’s minutiae, but a pretty consistent rate.  Well, consistent as far as I’m concerned! :)  Thanks to my readers for returning, thanks to you newbies for stopping by.  Muchos gracias people!

Well, I’m back in the UK after my month-long antipodean expedition, and believe me the amount of travelling I have to do on these trips is close to legendary!  I landed at Heathrow at 06:20 on Sat morning, after an exhausting flight where there were in-flight entertainment problems on the 9 hours to Bangkok and someone’s disgusting progeny taking pleasure in kicking the hell out of my seat the whole way to London.  Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep.  Fucking kids!  Shouldn’t be allowed to travel with the rest of us!  Or, at least, parents given explicit sets of rules & regs to abide by, along with the threat of being thrown off the plane at the fuel-stop.  Honestly – if I can be kicked off the plane for rude and aggressive behaviour, why can’t the bloody kid be kicked off for its highly disruptive behaviour?  One of life’s little mysteries.

Anyway, landed fine, waited the obligatory 30mins in the passport queue and then another obligatory 30mins for my bag to appear.  (thank god we didn’t arrive into Terminal 5!)  Heathrow express to Paddington then Tube to Kings Cross, then Cambridge express before 20min wait for my bus for return home.  Got home about 11:20am and presented Mark with his gift (which he loved!) and sorted my duty free and commenced obligatory cat-cuddling.  Mark went off to see his kids and I lasted perhaps another hour before I passed out.  I woke at 10pm when Mark arrived home, and I was in the same position I went to sleep in, except with a hungry cat on my pillow!  The poor little blighter had been trying to wake me up for a few hours.  He got a tin of tuna to make it all better…  And because I’d slept for so long I couldn’t sleep at all Sat night.  I was awake from 10pm Sat to 9pm Sun – then slept straight through til 4am today.  Hopefully by tomorrow my sleep patterns with be somewhere near normal.

So yep – back at work here today.  Met with boss this morning and told him that I’ll be actively looking for another job, and he sort of expected that.  He was really nice actually, told me to let him know if there’s anyone he can call for me – and then told me I couldn’t leave because then things wouldn’t get done! :)  All very nice to hear.  So I’ll be actively looking for other work.  Still don’t really know what industry I feel like getting in to – and I’ve done a hell of a lot of industries already! – but I know that I need a change. 

So there you go – 300 posts and things are still moving along.  I promise to sort my trip photos in the next few days and get them loaded on Flickr asap.  xx

P.S. Happy birthday Evan, ya miserable bugger.