Feeling very very drained of late. Sleeping heavily and often, daily headaches due to the fucking fan. I’m getting to work at about 08:15, and taking my first headache pill by 09:30. I need a holiday, quite desperately I think. Even more than that I need this fucking fan switched off or moved or something!
Supposed to be moving offices tomorrow or Friday to escape the noise. It’ll probably be Friday, but that can’t be confirmed, so I can’t take tomorrow off (boss is off tomorrow and it would have been perfect.)
Trying to get an international conference for 40 together for the end of this month, and finding myself turning into nasty nagging woman – because I know that this year will be like every other year in that everything will be left to the last minute and will leave me running around tearing my hair out trying to find enough hours in the day to get everything done.
On top of all this, I’m finding myself re-doing things 2-3 times because of a totally incompetent department losing papers, or saying they never received them in the first place. It’s immensely frustrating and highly irritating, and I’m not the only one experiencing these problems, but nothing is being done. I’m finding myself actually doing their work for them then forwarding them the result to enter into their systems. As if I didn’t have enough to do. But even doing this doesn’t guarantee that the system will be changed, and problems arise because the system doesn’t get changed. I’m asked the same questions time and time again by 4-5 different people – all of whom seem to be on the same level of uselessness. Procedures seem to change weekly. Ask 3 people what forms are needed and you’ll get 3 different responses. And the questions I raise about stuff not getting done are met with bureaucracy. Example:
“I really need to know why this wasn’t done. We’re now in an embarrassing situation, because the forms I put in haven’t been actioned. Here’s a copy of the forms signed and dated by boss 6 weeks ago.”
“Hmm, well. I don’t know. Hang on, let me check. I’ll get back to you.”
“Um, I’m sorry, but I need this sorted urgently. Can you please tell me now?”
“Let me look at what you’ve got here. Well, it wasn’t actioned because you didn’t have Form A in that pile. ”
“But I asked our team rep, here’s a copy of that email, and was told that all I needed were these forms I filled in and had signed by 3 different people before giving them to you to process.”
“Your rep probably didn’t know that Form A was necessary.”
“OK. (thinking let’s just leave that point alone for the moment) Well, 6 weeks ago when I put these forms in, why didn’t someone contact me and tell me there was no Form A in the package – that Form A was needed?”
“I don’t know.” (By this point I’m ready to pound my head against anything solid. Preferrably the brow of the person sitting in front of me.)
And that conversation was with the department head. *sigh*
Now, I don’t have any problem with bureaucracy itself. It’s a necessary evil, and my job as paperpusher entails that I know the particular bureaucracies of each department and the ways around them. Which I do. And I usually do very well with everyone – except this department.
I’m anal enough (and have been burnt enough!) to keep copies of everything I send to anyone, with who to + date sent written on the top, and I’ve got records of every fuck up by this department – but boss won’t make any official noise. Boss tells me it’s not up to him, and his making a fuss will only reflect badly on us and cause a backlash. He says it’s up to those higher on the food chain than him.
I’m sure that every company has its protected species, those that seem only distantly related to anything resembling the work they are paid for. Those teflon people. Things seem to slide right off them – nothing sticks to them, and nothing changes. The lame blind monkeys who see nothing, say nothing, hear nothing and do nothing – but are always too terribly busy to help you with anything you need. I’ve resigned from jobs because of these people before.
I’ve been working for boss for 5 years now and it’s the longest job I’ve ever had. Previous to this my longest ever job was 19 months, I’ve always got bored (or too pissed off) and moved on. But perhaps it is time to start thinking about moving on from here. I still like the job, the work environment, and I get along well with boss, but it’s all just seeming too damn much at the moment. Between the fucking fan and this particular department (which I have to deal with – there’s no way around that) perhaps it is time to move on.
I don’t know. All I know is that, at the moment, it just all seems a bit too much.
Perhaps I’m just in a foul mood. Perhaps everything will be better tomorrow.