“However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner … sulking and nausea.” Tom K. Ryan
Today, I have to admit, I lost it. I just plain lost it. Haven’t lost it like that for a long while.
I left work early yesterday because I just couldn’t stand the fucking fan any longer. I went out with the girls last night and was grumpy, headachey and whingey – just not me. I left early, went home and realised that this fucking fan, and my subsequent depression, were actually causing me to seriously think about leaving this job. That this situation was, therefore, somewhat desperate. If something wasn’t done soon there would be definite consequences.
So I came in this morning at the usual time. An hour later the headache was starting and so did the tears. I wrote an email to HR asking for an appointment with the Occupational Health Nurse and outlining all the difficulties Jane and I had been through over the last 9 months. Outlining the position we find outselves in. Outlining the non-help we’d received at every quarter. I was calm and succinct, and didn’t pull punches. I copied it to Head of Health and Safety, my Staff Association rep, and boss.
Then, still in tears, I went into the office across the hall from mine. The one on the other side of the building to the fucking fan. The empty one. I started dragging furniture around. When asked what I was doing, my response was “I’m moving out of that room today, help or no help.” People, wisely, decided to help. 3 hours later, my computer and phone are here, I’m networked and can print – I’m moved. I should have thrown a tantie months ago!
Head of H&S came up to see me, mid-move, and said “Well, it should never have got to this point.” I looked her in the eye and said, “I know.” She then said that if there’s anything I need.. I interrupted with, “Yep, I know where the foam earplugs are.” Probably not politic, but I just don’t care at this point. When I spoke to H&S I felt like they patted me on the head, made soothing noises and made a joke to send me off with a laugh. I wasn’t taken seriously and my suggestions for solutions weren’t even considered. And they deserve whatever recriminations come their way, though I doubt anything will.
But here in my ‘new’ office, it’s quiet, calm and peaceful. The window is open and fresh air is circulating. I have fresh air around me at work for the first time in 9 months. I love it. It’s fantastic. For the first time in a long time, I don’t mind being at work. I’ve still got a headache, but that’s from all the tears and tantrums this morning. I don’t expect one tomorrow. :)