Feeling weird today. Just strange. No idea why. Apathetic and homesick. Just plain blah. Having a big old CBA day (can’t be arsed).
Woke up with the alarm this morning to find my monthly text message from Nell wishing me many happy bouncy white bunnies.. Started the day with a smile. But I’ve no idea where the tradition of wishing someone white rabbits on the first of the month comes from. Perhaps that’s how I can waste time today….
The sun is shining, it’s almost 20degC. The birds are singing and making baby birds. Tropical fruit has once again appeared in the supermarket – passionfruit, pineapples, dragonfruit, grapes, nectarines… Summer’s coming. I feel I should be happier.
I’ve spent the morning cruising the internet trying to find things to buy, then talking myself out of everything. I can’t really spend the money.
Perhaps I could put a deposit on my flight home for Xmas – but at the moment I don’t think I can wait that long! I think I’m homesick. February, the usual time when I travel to the merry old land of Oz, has come and gone without a trip. Hmm. So if I book a flight home now, what’s to say that in 2-3 months I won’t be desperate and want to change my flight? It’s not a big drama, I know. I could change the flight pretty easily, I know. But today it all just looks like too much bloody hassle.
I’m still (generally) happy here. I’ve got a good job for a good boss who pays me well and respects the work I do. I’ve got some good friends to do things with, I’ve got my cat-beast and now Mark for company. I’ve got a car, somewhere to live, pretty extensive music, book and DVD collections and a new playstation2 game to challenge me. I take weekend city breaks to Europe every few months, which I love.
But none of this stops me feeling really restless. Perhaps I should book another trip? A day trip perhaps, like we did in Dublin.
I’m reading Treasure Islands: Travelling the South Seas in the wake of Fanny and Robert Louis Stevenson by Pamela Stevenson at the moment, and I think it’s making me restless.
Perhaps I should check out that sailing course I was thinking about? I’m reading Nick’s blog too, and he’s throwing the ol’ inspiration around willy-nilly. :)
Perhaps this is my ‘turning-35’ madness? Thinking about it – yes, I’m pretty sure that’s a part of it. I want to go on an adventure! I want to have a momentous experience, you know?
Perhaps I’ll go and look at that sailing course today. If nothing else it’ll give me something else to think about besides this restless feeling.