why can’t we keep our money under the bed?

That’s it. I’m giving up. My bank have once again fucked me around.

See, my card expires today. I let them know this back on 17 Aug, when I called to ask why I hadn’t received a replacement yet. The (very nice) man on the phone said he didn’t know, but that he’d put an order in for a replacement which would take 7 working days. Fine. Plenty of time to receive it before my card expired – no problem.

As of yesterday, 30 Aug, no card had arrived. When I rang last night, I was told that a replacement card had been ordered on the 17th. When I said I hadn’t received it he said there was a ‘gone away’ mark on my account and that I would have to go into a branch with 2 forms of ID to sort it out. Little rant at the person on the phone – why wasn’t I told this when I rang on 17th? Why was a card requested on 17th if it wasn’t going to be sent? Well, he says, it says here that the replacement card ordered for you has been returned. What?! I didn’t GET a card. Is the post office boycotting my house? I’m getting all my other post.. There’s nothing I can do until you go and verify your ID in a branch, he says – unsurprisingly unsympathetic.

So, this morning I go to my branch – 4 miles from my house. The branch tell me that they would be able to take the ‘gone away’ off my account, but that the only person who can do it is on holidays, and perhaps I’d like to use that phone over there to call Cust Services again? My temperature is rising rapidly. Why is the gone away on my account? Well, we must have had mail returned, that’s how it usually happens. But I’ve received everything you’ve ever sent me. Have you been getting statements? Not since I opened the account 5 years ago. Hmm. Best give them a call.

Calling Cust Services (what a blatant contradition in terms!) I was told that the chap I was speaking to couldn’t remove it – he didn’t have the authority – and could I possibly go to another branch? This is where I sort of lost it. There isn’t another branch within 5 miles, and I’m not spending 25 mins in the car just prove who I am. I requested to speak to a supervisor. 5 min wait on hold. When the SV came on she said that the ‘gone away’ had been on my account since 2003. Right, says I, but you sent me a new card in 2004 and I’ve been using that new card for 3 years – does that prove that I haven’t gone away? Have you been getting statements? she asked. No, but I haven’t received any statements since I opened the account. Why hasn’t this come up before? Well, she says, we usually rely on the customer to let us know when things are not received. So you don’t have any automatic systems that flag accounts with ‘gone away’ on them? You KNOW I haven’t gone away, you’ve called me and reached me on the numbers listed on my account at various times over the last 4 years. I’ve called you at various times over the last 4 years. Why wasn’t anything updated at any of those times? I really couldn’t say. Look, I am who I say I am, I’m using a branch phone to make this call and the 3 ladies behind the counter can all verify my ID and address for you. When am I going to get access to my money? 7-10 working days – she says.

So I’ll be without access to my account, without going to a branch with 2 forms of ID, for 2 weeks. It’s no fault of mine and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Why and how did banks, who continually screw their customers over, get so much bloody power? Why can’t we keep our money under the bed? Seriously. WHY can’t we keep our money under the bed? Why do we have to deal with banks?

If anyone can give me a satisfactory answer they’ll will today’s ‘Happy Friday’ prize*.

*there is no Happy Friday prixe. I made this up. Just like my bank have been making things up. It’s a cruel world.


About Miss J

Gen-x Australian female - out of my mind and my country. Cast adrift, as it were :) Enjoys: cat-cuddling, books, movies, music, theatre, travel, rpgs, cricket, F1 racing and all things to do with the sea..
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