You know you’re Australian when… (still, and more)

Thanks to Nell for this one – an extension of my previous post on Australianism

You know you’re Australian if….

  • You know the meaning of ‘girt’
  • You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk
  • You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin
  • You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse
  • You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden
  • When you hear that an American ‘roots for his team’ you wonder how often and with whom
  • You understand that the phrase ‘a group of women wearing black thongs’ refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds
  • You pronounce Melbourne as ‘Mel-bin’
  • You pronounce Penrith as ‘Pen-riff’
  • You believe the ‘L’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional
  • You can translate: ‘Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas’
  • You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep
  • You call your best friend ‘a total bastard’ but someone you really, truly despise is just ‘a bit of a bastard’
  • You think ‘Woolloomooloo’ is a perfectly reasonable name for a place
  • You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin
  • You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’ can’t be called ‘Woy’
  • You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread
  • You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis
  • You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one ever says ‘cobber’
  • You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song ‘Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again’
  • You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year
  • You still don’t get why the ‘Labor’ in ‘Australian Labor Party’ is not spelt with a ‘u’
  • You wear ugg boots outside the house
  • You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them
  • Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language
  • You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, while ‘beg yours’ is always polite
  • You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose
  • You understand that ‘you’ has a plural and that it’s ‘youse’
  • You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle
  • You biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket
  • You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ‘Anzac cookies’
  • You still think of Kylie Minogue as ‘that girl off Neighbours’
  • When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit
  • You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction
  • When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer
  • You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second
  • You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government’s new test for migrants
  • You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!

About Miss J

Gen-x Australian female - out of my mind and my country. Cast adrift, as it were :) Enjoys: cat-cuddling, books, movies, music, theatre, travel, rpgs, cricket, F1 racing and all things to do with the sea..
This entry was posted in australiana, silliness, strange but true, useless information. Bookmark the permalink.

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