kulcha tursdy: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are not dead – they’re hiding!

Following on from the great success of my original Rozencrantz & Guildenstern post, which is my most viewed post ever, I found this today and it made me giggle. 

You can read the whole thing HERE

And incidentally, just noticed that it was loaded on my birthday 2003!! :) That’s coincidence for ya!

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Not Dead (They Are Hiding)

By Nick Jezarian

“But why are we hiding, Rosencrantz?”

“Why, we’re hiding because we don’t want to be seen.”

“But if everyone thinks we’re dead, then there’s no need to hide.”

“Who said we’re dead?”

“Everyone knows Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. It’s common knowledge.”

“We’re not dead.”

“I know that.”

“So then everyone doesn’t think we’re dead. You don’t.”

“This is ridiculous Rosencrantz, we’ve been stuck in this closet for over 300 years. I’m tired of smelling moth balls.”

“Then stop sticking your head between their legs.”

“Rosencrantz, if we weren’t hiding, I’d tell everyone I saw that you were a complete dickweed.”

(Continued on the site)

Part Deux –

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Still Not Dead (They’re Just Playing Hide and Seek)

by Nick Jezarian

Name five things. Do it now. Fast.

What?

What isn’t a thing, you mental juggernaut. Five things, I said.

Jesus Christ!

That’s one.

You’re unreal.

Unreal is a state of being, not a thing.

A state of being is so a thing. I should be at two. Strudel.

Now you’re cooking. Three more things.

Shhh!

Nope, three more. I should penalize you for that one.

I think I hear someone coming.

[Pause.]

You’re just stalling. Three more things you twit.

Salamanders, monkfish, and Shelly Duvall.

Thank you.

What was that all about?

What was what all about?

Naming five things. Fast.

Rutabaga, John Holmes’s penis, squash, indecency, shallow feelings of inadequacy. Booya! That’s five in what has to be record time.

We’re just not on the same page today. Are we?

 again continued HERE

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About Miss J

Gen-x Australian female - out of my mind and my country. Cast adrift, as it were :) Enjoys: cat-cuddling, books, movies, music, theatre, travel, rpgs, cricket, F1 racing and all things to do with the sea..
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